The Truth about stories is that that's all we are
by Brittanaendgames
Summary: This is the story of "The break up" and how an evil genius makes Santana walk the darkest path she ever has. It's about love and the crazy things it makes people do. Rated M for Brittana sweet lady kisses at times. Please read and let me know. Just my thoughts on what really happened and we don't see.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Okay so I have a lot of feelings after the break up and I needed to find a way to cope and since GLEE is on a break (damm you baseball- but go A's) I figured I would try to write my version of what I think will happen. To those of you who read GLEE live 2012: Underdogs rule the world, don't worry I'll still try to update once a week. I just need to get this out or I will go insane.

Please check me out on twitter BrittanEndGame or StephErin1.

I do not own GLEE anything or anyone. If I did this is what would happen.

**Chapter 1**

Thomas King a Native American writer wrote that, "The truth about stories is that that's all we are." That is so true. Every minute of every day is just another part of our story. You see the thing about stories is they are what we make of them. We remember what we want to. We tell it from our point of view, from what we see, what we feel. Other people will always remember and tell the story in a different way. Well, you may asking yourselves, what has me here thinking about stories and what they mean.

Well, my name is Santana Lopez. Yes, that Santana Lopez. The famous singer/songwriter. The one married to the most amazing blonde, blue eyed children's writer. Yeah, the crazy sexy mother of my new baby girl, Valerie. Yes, this is me. I have taken some time off from writing music and preforming to be home with Brittany and Val, but me being me, I have to be working. So, this is me writing a blog about how true love makes it through no matter what. This is my story about how I broke my true loves heart and how she simply would not accept it. It's the story of our journey through the hard times to make it out even stronger on the other side.

I have never been the one to use words to express myself, but my sweet Brit showed me how. I have a story to tell and as Thomas King also said, "Once told, it is loose in the world". I know many of you will judge me for what I did to the only person who got me. Who knew me inside and out. I broke her, but she, she being the unicorn she is found a way to fix both of our hearts.

So here we go. Hold on tight, get your tissues ready and lets take a stroll down this dark path and re-live the biggest lesson of my life. I hope you find inspiration in there, I know each of you will get your own message from it, and may not be the message I'm trying to send. I just ask you try and stand in my shoes and learn the lesson of love with me.

You see Britt and I meet when we were 12. She moved in down the street from me in Lima Ohio. I know right, small town life, it sucks. But, it was not so bad because I had Britt. We first kissed that year, it was a New Years kiss. It was not planned, it just kinda happened. I can't tell you who leaned in, because we both did. The kiss was short and sweet and everything that is perfect in this world. I don't want to use any of the cliche things to say, fireworks tons, butterflies on full effect, took my breath away for days, it was more than any of those things. It was rainbows and unicorns. It was magic, it was love.

Unfortunately, I was so scared to tell her. I fought with myself for years about what it meant, was I gay? I couldn't be, I was raised to think it was a sin. But, every time she would look at me, smile at me, touch me, hug me; well my world would be set on fire. For a year, we didn't talk about and we didn't kiss again. There were so many times in that year, I wanted to, and I know she did too. You see the thing about my Britt is she knows me, she knows me better than anyone in this world. She knew I couldn't, wouldn't talk about it. She is so amazing she waited for me, I made her wait for a long time.

I remember like yesterday what happened on New Years when we were 13:

"_Hey, Britt-Britt can I talk to you?" 13 year old Santana says to Brittany while sitting on Britt's bed getting ready to go to Puck's party. It was their first real party._

"_Sure Sanny." Britt says looking over at the young Latina._

"_Well, umm, you know how at midnight you are sopused to kiss someone right?"_

"_Yeah. I'm so mad that Blake broke up with me yesterday. Now I have no one to kiss." Britt let a tear fall, but it was wiped away by San just as fast as it fell._

"_I know honey." San pulled Britt into a hug. "Well, umm, I was thinking that we could kiss, I mean it's no big deal. It's just it's bad luck not to kiss anyone and well, we don't want to have bad luck right?"_

_I wonder if she will ever find out that I told Blake that Britt thought he was a dork for reading comics. I know it is bad to lie, but I wanted to kiss her again and I knew she wouldn't if she was with him. Santana thinks as she looks at baby blue eyes that look right through her. _

"_I would like that Sanny. I don't want us to have bad luck. Should we, maybe umm, practice."_

That's the night I knew I loved her. It took me a few more years to tell her and a lot of heart ache. Everyone thought she was this modest little girl, but she is not. Her mind is evil at times. She knows how to play me, she knows how to get me to do anything and everything she wants. The day before I talked to Blake, Britt told me how, "Blake doesn't talk to me at lunch because he is too busy reading his comics. I hate it sometimes." You see, evil genius. But if you ever call her that, I will end you.

After that kiss, we would kiss from time to time but would never talk about it. Her 14th birthday is the day that it all got real, too real for me.

"_Britt, San we will be back in about an hour okay. We will get you guys the movies you wanted and stuff to make you some soup okay, honey?" Susan Britt's mom said to the two girls cuddled up on Britt's bed. Today is Britt 14__th__ birthday and she is sick. Santana demanded to stay over with her and risk being sick._

_Telling her mom, "I'm the only one who knows how to make her smile when she is sick. I have to go, if I get sick fine." After fighting for maybe five minutes Maribel let her go. _

"_Hey San can I tell you something?" Britt asks still with her head laying on Santana's chest right above her heart._

"_Anything."_

_Britt sits up, "Well umm, I'm not sick. I'm faking it." Santana's eyebrows scrunch together. "I didn't want to spend my birthday with anyone but you. I want to try something with you and I wanted to do it today." Britt smirks at San._

"_Wait what do you mean, you are faking? Your mom took your temperature." Santana could not believe what she is hearing._

"_Don't worry about how I tricked her, but it's really not that hard San." Britt gets up from the bed and Santana can only stare at her long legs in the much too short cheer shorts. "Come look at this." Britt says sitting down at her desk and opening the internet explorer and typing in an address._

"_Britt-" Santana stops as she looks at the screen and see's what is on it. "Britt, what is this." Santana leans against the back of the chair Britt is sitting in, her small breasts brushing against Britt's back._

"_It's this site I found. See it's about loseing your flower, but I want to call it rainbow because well, I like those more than flowers." Britt turns and looks at her best friend._

"_I don't get it B, why are you showing me this."_

"_Well, umm, it says that you should lose it to someone who you love, trust and someone you want in your life forever. And that person is you. Please, San. I want to know what it feels like, and I don't trust anyone like I trust you, I never will."_

Ok, I know what you are all thinking. Britt is an evil genius, well yeah she is. I found out a few years ago she came up with this idea when I told her I wanted to do it with Noah "Puck" Puckerman. Yeah, she is my little evil genius. Okay back to the story.

"_Okay, Britt. It's your birthday, we can do anything you want." Santana says gulping. "It doesn't mean anything. Sex isn't dating."_

"_Yeah, I know. It's just two best friends having fun and experiencing something together for the first time. Now lets go to my bed and take each others rainbows."_

_Britt stands and moves over to the bed. Santana follows behind her. They both lean in and start to kiss, like they have done thousands of times now. Santana runs her tongue over Britt's lower lip asking her to open. Britt does and their tongues start to move together. Santana thinks, this is amazing. I love her, how did she know I wanted this._

_Britt's hand slides under San shirt and San moans and breaks their kiss. San pushes Britt down on the bed. She grabs the hem of her own shirts and rips it off. She then gets on the bed and places a knee on either side of Britt's waist. Their centers over each other. Britt's body takes over as she bucks her hips up. She did that once before and it felt so nice, but Santana stopped her last time. This time Santana moans and grinds her hips down, as Britt thrusts hers up. Soon San is kissing all over Britt's neck being careful not to leave any marks._

"_Oh my god, San" Britt moans as Santana starts to message her breasts thru her shirt. Britt runs her hands through San's hair._

_Santana takes Britt's shirt off and gulps at the perfect abs. She starts to kiss down her stomach till she gets to the waistband of her shorts. She hooks her fingers on the band and looks at Britt, who smiles and nods. Santana slowly pulls them off and what she see shocks her. Her sweet and innocent best friend is not wearing any underwear and her center is dripping with wetness._

_Santana is not sure what she needs to do, so she does what she does to herself. What she does at night in her room, looking at pictures of the girl who is now under her. She slowly cups the blonds mound. Brittney moans. The moan rocks through Santana's body and she can feel her own wetness pooling between her legs, she thinks she might just orgasm with the sounds of the blonde._

"_San, I want to feel you too." Britt's voice is huskier than San has ever heard. Before Santana know's what is going on Britt flips them over and starts kissing Santana again. While still kissing, Britt unhooks and removes Santana's bra and then her own. Then just as fast Santana's shorts and thong are on the floor. "San your so wet." Britt says as she looks at the girl she loves, core dripping. Britt lays on top of San and start kissing her. She lets her right hand train down her body and she runs her fingers through Santana's slick folds. Santana lets her left arm go down to Britt's core as she does the same as Britt is doing._

_Finger's start to circle swollen clits. Moans of each other's name are screamed out. Breathing is heavy. Kissing is sloppy. Then Britt pushes a finger into Santana, who does the same to Britt. Hips start to rock. Before, they both know what is happening they are both shaking, they feel walls contract and hold on to fingers. Both girls fall into each other and hold the other._

Okay, okay you all must thinking that we were together after that, well you would be wrong. We both let the "Sex is not dating" line work for us. We kissed, we had sex, but that was it. We never talked about what it meant. Everyone says I was the one who was scared, but Britt was too. Our love was too big for a 12, 13, 14, even a 15 year old to deal with. It's scary at 15 when you would give our own life for someone else. When you would put all their needs before your own, but that was us. Call us Santitney or Brittana, whatever, we were not Santana and Brittney, we were one person.

That day things got really real. I had real feelings for Britt, I loved her and I had no clue how to tell her. I didn't even know how to tell myself. We feel asleep wrapped up in each other, naked. Luckly her garage door makes a ton of noise and woke us up. We both quickly went to the bathroom and cleaned up, then threw our clothes back on. We got back into bed just as her Mom walked in.

"_Hi girls. Britt you look better." Her mom says walking over to sit next to Britt. She missed the sly smile that San and Britt shared and the fact that under the covers they were holding hands and their legs we tangled together._

"_Yeah, we took a nap." Britt said. "Did you get Grease?"_

"_Yeah, we did. You girls want to come down and watch it."_

_The two younger girls nod and climb out of bed. They get downstairs and take their places on the couch and cover themselves with a blanket. Britt places her hand on Santana's upper thigh and Santana puts a hand on Britt's as well. Throughout the movie their hands slid further and further up legs. By the end of the movie they were cupping each other's core, right there with Britt's little sister and parents not more than 10 feet away._

_They had all been singing thru the whole movie. "We go together" starts and it does not take long for every person in the room to get up and sing and dance. Britt pulls Santana in close to her and peaks to see her parents and sister are not watching them, she pecks San's lips and husks into her ear, "Thanks for taking my rainbow, BEST. BRITHDAY. EVER."_

That night, we crossed the rainbow again. To this day it is still what Britt calls it, I prefer sweet lady kisses, but to each their own. I had to tell you all this so that, you have some background as to how our relationship works. Britt wants something and finds a way to get me to do it. She dated a kid named Artie to get me to admit my feeling for her, that was a dark time. She helped our cheerleading coach to get me a full ride scholarship to the University of Louisville to keep me close to home, when she didn't graduate. Evil genius, that's my Britt-Britt.

You see me leaving and her staying was the start of a darkest road I have ever walked down. It was the only time that Britt's plan didn't work. It was the only time her evil genius was, well it was not evil or genius, it just was. That evil plan lead to one that broke both of us to pieces. It is something that I still look back on and can see the genius of it now, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I was tricked into doing the last thing I ever thought I would do, all because I love Brittney more than my own life and happiness.

Well, that's it for tonight. Val is crying and it's my turn to change her and with all honesty I would not have it any other way. Until next time have faith, true love always wins.

**A/N:** Okay I know it was short, but I don't have much time to write so chapter will be short on this fic, but you might get one every day till it's done. Anyways, please let me know what you thought. I know I making Britt out to be evil but she is, in a good way. Everyone always points out the crap San puts Britt thru but I think Britt does just as much. So anyways, let me know your thoughts or ideas.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Wow, I can't believe the traffic on this story already. I hope you all liking it. To those of you who fav and are following, thank you so very very very much. And to those of you who reviewed you make my heart fuller. I love reviews, I love to get them, I love to write them for stories I read. They are important, so if you like what you read, or don't please review. I can't explain how much I LOVE THEM.

Okay on with the story :)

I DO NOT OWN GLEE, IF I DID I WOULD NOT BE WRITING THIS, LOL.

**Chapter 2**

Hello again, my lovely readers. Santana Lopez back at it. Before I jump back into the story, I have to tell you that last night Britt and I sang Valerie to Valerie. She loved it, she was kicking her little feet and everything. I love being a mother but more than that I love be a mother with Britt. Those two girls are my entire life.

Okay, enough about that. On with the story. So this is where things start to get bad, really bad. Be ready because it may hurt, I know it still hurts me.

_To: Brit's- are you almost back?_

_Santana is waiting in her car in front of McKinley high school. Britt has been away at cheer camp for the last six weeks. During that time Santana moved into her dorm room and started her cheer practices. They are not even close to as hard as what Coach Sue put them through, but still taxing. She also started school already. Actually she is a few weeks into the semester. They started in the middle of August and McKinley doesn't start till the middle of September. Today is the Friday before Britt goes back to school. San skipped class to come surprise her love. _

_From: Brit's- yeah the bus is almost back to school. How was class?_

"_God I love her. Always worried about me." Santana says out loud to herself._

_To: Brit's- It was sooooooo boring. _

_From: Brit's- im sry. Bus bout to park. I'll call u when I get home. ILY_

_To: Brit's- k, I LOVE YOU MORE_

_Santana sees the huge Cheerios bus pull up and park. She parked her car so that it was hidden. She wanted to surprise Britt. Her mom told her she was picking her up. She sees her blonde get off the bus, she seems sad. The bounce is not in her step and she looks like she is about to start crying. _

"_Fuck what is wrong with my love" Santana says to herself as she jumps out of her car and is on the run to the person who holds her heart._

Okay, I know I know, I'm whiped and that is still true. There are two things that almost always get me to do whatever Britt wants. First her pout, she sticks that bottom lip out and I'm done for, the second is her crying. There have been a few times that those have not worked, but for the most part I'm goo in her hands.

She knows this and uses it against me a lot. I know evil genius. I can't help but love her for it. I love that she knows me so well, she can control me. No one else has ever been able to control me, not like her. Okay back to the story.

_Santana runs as fast as she can to her blonde beauty. "Britty, baby what's wrong?" Santana yells before Brittany even sees her._

_Britt turns around looking confused, "Sanny what are you doing here? You had class." Britt wraps San in her arms and they hold each other not caring who sees them. Something a year ago would never have happened._

"_I wanted to surprise you. I know you start school on Monday and I just wanted to spend one last weekend with you before we both get super busy. Plus, I missed you." Santana rambles off._

You see that day I should have seen it. I should have seen how unhappy Britt was. I should have damned she tell me why she was so upset, what had made her cry. But you see I'm a bitch, I only think of myself. I try not too, I try so hard to think of others, but it is so hard. Britt is the only person I ever put before me, but this one time it was too hard. I didn't want to know the truth. I didn't want to know that Britt had been breaking down and crying every day. I didn't want to know how sad she was, I didn't want to know she felt so alone. So I ignored it, all of it, all the signs.

That weekend we spent with each other and Sunday my parents came over to eat dinner and watch a movie before I drove back to school.

"_Girls, dinner." Susan Pierce yells up to the girls._

"_So Jamie are you ready for school?" Maribel asks Jamie Britt's little sister who will be in 8__th__ grade this year._

"_No. I hate school and don't want to go." Jamie says back with the Lima Heights attitude she has picked up from San._

_Santana_ _who had just gotten off of Britt who carried her down the stairs, smacks the back of Jamie's head, "Watch the attitude small fry."_

"_Whatever." Jamie says before running out of the dinning room and up to her room._

_Everyone at the table looks at each other. Jamie is taking Santana leaving harder than anyone but Britt. After five minutes of no one saying anything Britt stands up, "I'll go talk to her."_

_Brittany goes up to Jamie's room and sees the door open just a crack, she walks in without knocking, "Hey, Jamie what's wrong?"_

_Jamie just stays laying in the fetal position facing away from the door. Britt lays next to her sister, wrapping her arms around her, being coming the big spoon. "I know Jamie, I'm going to miss her too. So much." Britt can feel Jamie crying, her body shaking with sobs and then her own body does the same. _

_They both cry themselves to sleep. After twenty minutes Santana goes to see what is going on. She walks into the room and sees the two sound asleep. Santana moves to sit on the bed and brushes the blond hair out of Jamie's eyes. _

"_Jamie. Wake up, small fry." She coos into the girls ear. She sees the younger girl start to stir and what happens breaks her heart._

"_Just leave. I don't want you near me or Britt. You already broke our hearts, now go." Jamie says as softly as she can as not to wake her sister. "I hate you."_

I should have know right then, I should have changed my mind and not left. I should have gone to the local community college. I should have know better than to leave them. But again, I'm a bitch.

"_Screw you Jamie. You are such a little bitch." Santana yells back at the girl standing up and leaving the room. Britt running after her._

"_San what happened?" Britt asks grabbing her arm to stop her._

"_Ask Jamie. She hates me." Santana lets the tears she holding fall and lets Britt wrap her into her arms._

"_She is just upset San. It'll be okay, come on lets watch Grease okay?"_

Jamie stayed in her room the rest of the night. She had locked the door and would not let anyone in. The rest of us watched Grease. We sang and danced and had a blast. Then it was time for me to go.

_Santana slowly walks to the close door. "Jamie, I want to say goodbye. Will you open up please?" Santana asks as she knocks on the door. She gets no answer. "Fine. I love you small fry. I love so much. Just know if you need me, call okay? I'll be home in a few weeks, maybe we can do something?" She waits a few more minutes but gets nothing._

"_Mija you need to leave, it's getting late." Maribel yells up the stairs._

"_Last chance, Small fry." She waits again and nothing, "Okay, I tried. I love you."_

_Santana pushes her ear against the door and can hear Jamie crying. Santana turns and walks away, trying to avoid the pain it causes her._

_Santana walks downstairs and hugs the Pierce's and her parents before walking outside to her car where Britt is waiting for her._

"_I'll text you all when I get in. I love you all." Santana says as she walks out to Britt._

"_Okay, baby. Drive safe. Don't worry about Jamie, she will come around." Britt says holding Santana at arms length. "I love you San. Do well in your classes, okay?" Britt smiles at San who rolls her eyes._

"_I love you too. And you study hard okay?" San waits for Britt to nod and then she leans in and kisses her quickly. They keep it quick as they promised they wouldn't cry. It's not goodbye but see you latter._

I drove off and I cried and cried and cried. When I got to my dorm I texted them all and they all texted back except for Jamie. It was so hard to leave that first time. I should have know this was a bad idea but I just couldn't see it. I can't live without Britt and she can't live without me.

The next day I skyped with Britt and we had some rainbow times over skype which is really hard to do. I missed her so much already. I tried that whole week to text and call Jamie but she never replied to me. She knew, she knew what was going to happen. She blamed me for not helping Britt the year before.

Britt had told San how they were all competing to be the New Rachel. She also told her about how everyone had been making fun of the new girl Marley's mom. She was so upset during the Skype in which she told her:

"_It was so bad. San I felt so bad. They were being so mean to her, they didn't even know her." Britt sad._

"_I'm sorry baby. What happened, what did they say?" Santana said back wanting nothing more than to wrap her arms around her girlfriend._

"_Well, it was at lunch. First, Wade or Unique or whatever sat down and had make-up on. People got really upset and said he couldn't wear it or the Cheerios and football kids wouldn't sit with us anymore. I don't get it Sanny, it is just who he is. I mean I talk about Unicorns and rainbows and they let me sit with them. Why are they so mean to him, he is apart of our team now."_

"_Oh Britty."_

"_Yeah, so he left and then the Cheerios and the football boys sat down. They started making fun of the new lunch lady, who is a big girl. I tried to stand up to them. I said maybe she has a medical condition or swallowed someone who has a medical condition. San they laughed at me like I was making a joke. San I was not being funny, I was trying to get them to stop."_

"_I know Britt. You are too good a person to even hurt someone. You are the nicest person ever." Santana says smiling at the girl who stole her heart._

"_No that is you. I don't care what other people say, you are by far the nicest and most caring person on the planet. Baby, I know you keep trying to get Jamie to talk to you. I don't know what is wrong with her. She at least is going to class now. San I'm worried about her." Britt wipes at the tear that starts to fall._

"_Oh, Britty don't cry. I'll keep trying. You know she is just like me. Something is going on and she is not going to stop acting like this until she talks about it. Honey, I know you are worried, I'll keep trying to call her."_

"_Thanks, baby. My parents are really worried about her. She will talk to me. I thought you leaving would bring her and I closer but it hasn't. It is like she hates me for letting you go. Does she not get how hard it is for me?" Britt lets more tears fall._

"_Oh, baby I know. It is hard for me too. Baby, I'll be home soon for a weekend, I will force her to talk to me or I'll go all Lima Heights on her ass. She doesn't get to make my Britt-Britt sad." San says back trying her best not to cry._

I should have gotten in my car and gone to Britt right then. She needed me. I could see her falling apart. I should have called Sam or Sugar to watch her to make sure she was okay, but I didn't. Britt always told me what to do, she always knew how to let me know what she needed. I should have trusted what I wanted to do. But, I didn't.

I knew Britt wanted me to stay in school. She didn't want me to go to New York, she didn't want me to come home. She wanted me to finish school so that is what I tried to do. I stayed in school, I didn't rush home to her. I ended the Skype way to quickly, I lied, said I had to go.

"_Look Baby, I love you so much, but I have to go. I have to write a paper."_

"_Ok Sanny. I love you too."_

I know, I know I'm a bitch. I missed her so much it hurt. I did my best to hide it but it was so hard. It hurt to much to see her hurt and know I couldn't do anything about it.


End file.
